Guilt. When you read that word just now, what came to mind? Do you have a proverbial junk drawer or junk closet or room or garage that is full of the mess of guilt? We don’t know exactly what to do with the guilt. We hang onto it like the old broken flashlight or old keys or used-up pens. They just sort of collect, and maybe they hold a memory, or we just stuffed it and don’t dare to go there! Pastor Adam talked about guilt and how at times, we don’t or can’t deal with it, but then we can’t or won’t move on. We just hold it in the spot, deep in our heart. The Bible has plenty to say about our heart. We read in Matthew 15:18-19 (NIV) “But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. 19) For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.” And we also read in Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Guilt is like a toxin, and can wreak havoc in our lives.
This week we will take a deeper dive into guilt, looking at what guilt is, how it affects us (and even others in our life), King David and his own dealings with guilt, and what the Bible has to say about how to overcome it.
Monday:
First, let's look at two different forms of guilt. False guilt and actual guilt. We can have false guilt when there is legalism or guilt trips others put on you. Actual guilt is feeling guilty because you did something you should not have done. When we are operating from that mess of guilt, we can have some negative self-talk, “I’m such an idiot.” “Why did I ever______?” “I don’t deserve anything good.” It can also lead to misplacing blame or not taking responsibility. “My whole family is like that.” “It was a long time ago.” “I was lonely.” “Everyone I knew did it.” “I was being mistreated.” Something very important to remember that Pastor Adam said is, “Both denying guilt or being defined by guilt empowers guilt.” Guilt can very quickly and completely consume us. Guilt can weigh us down and cause us to feel insecure, avoid people, lead us to anger, make us self-destructive, or keep us stuck in the past.
Reflection/Action:
Today, take some time to reflect on your life. What role has the mess of guilt played, or what role is it currently playing in your life? Is this false guilt or actual guilt? Read Matthew 15:18-19 and Proverbs 4:23. Consider your heart and the role guilt might be playing. Also, consider if you are taking steps to guard your heart. Take these things to the Lord and let Him examine you and gently show you what you need to see and what you need to begin to let go.
Tuesday:
It is so important to face the mess of guilt in our life in a healthy way. So, if we aren’t going to be defined by our guilt or deny it, is there a third option? We looked at King David and his “palace” of guilt. There are many things recorded in the Bible that David did that brought guilt into his life. We also get to see his journal of sorts (Psalms) and how he worked through it. Psalm 32:3 (NLT) “When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long.” His secrets were killing him, but we read in verse 5, “Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt.
I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.” That third option for dealing with guilt-confess it. Your very worst moments can be used by God to bring Him glory.
Reflection/Action:
Are you dealing with such a big mess of guilt that it feels like it is “killing” you? Maybe a relationship that you value, or your peace, or even physically, you feel the pain of guilt? Read and meditate on Psalm 32:5. Be like David and simply confess it ALL to Him. Christ can handle it. He died for your sins. He loves you like no other!
Wednesday:
Confession. This is the healthy third option for dealing with the mess of guilt. The experts even say that confession is a keystone habit to have in our life. When we confess, we are allowing transparency and accountability. We are freeing ourselves from the toxic guilt when we confess to God. Do not underestimate the importance of confession. We read in Psalm 38:4 (NLT), “My guilt overwhelms me—it is a burden too heavy to bear.” And then we read in Psalm 38:18 what David does, “But I confess my sins; I am deeply sorry for what I have done.” Those things are not hidden in the dark to creep up and choke us once we bring them into the light.
Reflection/Action:
1 John 1:9 “But if we confess our sins to him, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.” Do you see that? He is faithful! And just! He forgives your sins! AND He cleanses your wickedness! What great news. This is not about a half-hearted “I’m sorry.” This is about truly laying your sin out before the Lord and then experiencing true heart transformation.
Thursday:
We looked at confession to God, but there is also confession to others. We read in James 5:16a (NLT) “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” One aspect of confession and forgiveness is about forgiving those who have hurt you, but we also need to confess and ask others we may have hurt to forgive us. Let’s remember where we came from and what God has done for us. Ephesians 5:8-9 (NLT) “For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! 9) For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.” Think about the freedom you will feel, and then think about the example you are setting by humbling yourself. There may be times when we confess to another not because we need their forgiveness (and sometimes we may not get it from a person), but we need the transformation it brings.
Reflection/Action:
Proverbs 28:13 says “People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.” Confessing to God and also to man where we have offended brings freedom. Don’t let the mess of pride cause you to hold onto a mess of guilt today! Do you know someone you need to confess to and ask for forgiveness? Allow God to shine a light into this area and ask Him to help you. (*See below for Three Crucial Questions to Ask Concerning Asking for Forgiveness)
Friday:
It’s time to take a personal inventory. Psalm 139:23 says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” Pastor Adam said, “If you want to stop defeating yourself with your own mess, you have to stop deceiving yourself.” Making a daily habit of taking inventory of your heart is crucial.
Reflection/Action:
Take some time to pray and ask God about the things you feel guilt over. Where in your life do you need transformation? Some great questions to get started:
“Do I owe anyone something?”
“Have I broken a promise or my word to someone?”
“Have I been controlling or possessive?”
“Have I been hypocritical?”
“Have I been unfaithful?”
“Have I been neglecting anything or anyone?”
“Am I addicted to anything?”
Saturday:
We’ve looked at the mess of guilt in our lives and how it can and does affect us. We looked at confessing to God and even to others. Now let’s look at accepting God’s forgiveness. We do not need to beg or bargain; Christ died on the cross for your sins. We read in Romans 3:23-24 (NLT)” For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. 24) Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.” What good news this is! When Christ looks at you He does not see your mess!
Reflection/Action:
Read Romans 8:1 and rejoice!! “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.” (NLT) Meditate on that. And as you go through life, remember that “Confession is an essential habit to dealing with our messy hearts and transforming our lives.”
*Three Crucial Questions to Ask Concerning Asking for Forgiveness
Is this the right time?
Ecclesiastes 8”6 (NIV) “For there is a proper time and procedure for every matter, though a person may be weighed down by misery.”
Have you ever heard the saying, “Timing is everything?” Your misery doesn't make it ok to drop a bomb on someone - when is it right for them? Consider timing when you want to confess to someone and ask for their forgiveness.
Do I have the right attitude?
Ephesians 4:15 (NIV)” Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Are we truly confessing and seeking forgiveness with the right heart? Being humble?
Is this wise?
Proverbs 12:18 (NIV) “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Am I approaching this and speaking in a wise way?