Forgive. Does that 7 letter word make your stomach churn? Do you think “That is impossible, you have NO idea what so and so did to me?!” As we have been going through the series ‘Back to Basics’ and learning how to B.L.E.S.S. others, Stephen introduced the idea in his sermon, today, that forgiveness is really foundational to be able to:
Begin with prayer for others
Listen with care
Eat together
Serve others and,
Share our story.
We looked at ways unforgiveness is holding us back, a few reasons we might find it hard to forgive and a multitude of reasons to extend forgiveness. There is a quote that goes [like this]: “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.” (Original author unknown). Unforgiveness is toxic for our own hearts and minds and holds us back. We equate extending forgiveness as saying that whatever offense the other person committed towards us is okay. We want justice. However, forgiveness doesn’t nullify the pain caused, but it does transfer the resolution to the Lord’s care. He already sees and knows every detail of what you have experienced. He cares and He can take care of this. Romans 12:19 (NIV) says,” Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.” Once we extend forgiveness, we will experience a freedom like none other that really allows us to BLESS others and experience what God has for us.
Let us take to heart Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) “Be kind and compassionate to one another, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Each day this week we’ll take a closer look at the components of today’s sermon. Let’s start with prayer that we will be open to all that God has to reveal and know that He only wants what is best for us and trust His leading.
Monday:
Stephen made a great point in his sermon that forgiveness is foundational to being able to B.L.E.S.S. others. We looked at just a couple of ways unforgiveness affects us (there are many others as well) and some Scripture to encourage us.
1) Unforgiveness eats us up. Just like the quote says, we are the one affected by the poison of unforgiveness. The Bible cautions us in Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV) “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27) and do not give the devil a foothold.” Having unforgiveness in our hearts takes up valuable time and energy.
2) Unforgiveness is a distraction away from God. When we are harboring unforgiveness, we are constantly focused on the hurt and injustice that we felt from that person and that keeps our eyes on the situation and off of God. Hebrews 12:1-2 (NIV)says “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2)fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” We should not want to hold onto unforgiveness more than we want to hold onto God.
Reflection/Action
Take today, to simply consider if you are actively harboring unforgiveness towards anyone. Ask God to reveal this to you. This is simply step one. Maybe it’s someone (or more than one) from your childhood. Maybe it’s a co-worker or boss. A spouse. A child. A best friend. Maybe it’s even yourself. Name them, outloud to God. Write their name down. Invite God into this process, He already knows and He will walk alongside you. Remember, He sent His only Son to die for you, to forgive you of each and everyone of your sins. He wants to help you extend that forgiveness to others.
Tuesday:
Why is forgiveness so hard? One answer is that when we feel hurt by someone, we want justice to be served and we think we know exactly how that should look. We also withhold forgiveness out of a place of pride. Stephen talked about two ways pride can hold us back.
1) Our pride is hurt because someone told lies about us and others have heard the lies and believe them.
2) Or, maybe there is some truth in what the person is saying and our pride is hurt. Maybe we feel our lives have been ruined.
We tend to equate forgiveness with saying that what the other person did is no big deal or it’s okay. We then hold onto unforgiveness thinking “that will show them!!” Forgiveness is really more for us and our heart and allowing God to work out the details with the other person.
Reflection/Action
Consider the reason you are carrying unforgiveness around. This may be painful to think about. Ask God to help you. Take some time to read through Romans 12:17-21. Ask God to speak to you through His Word. Here is a simple prayer to pray as you begin this process. “Lord, please help me as I think about the reasons I am carrying unforgiveness. Help me to give this burden to you. Please help me to forgive……...”
Wednesday:
There is a parable found in Matthew 18 about unforgiveness. Let’s first read in Matthew 18:21-22 (NIV) “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22)Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” And then Jesus goes on in verses 23-35 with this parable about a king who called in a servant to pay a 10,000 talent debt (more than could be paid back in a lifetime) and the servant asked for mercy and the king forgave his debt. The servant then goes out and finds someone that owes him only about 4 ½ months worth of wages. The man begs for mercy and the servant does not grant it and has him thrown in jail until he can pay the debt back.
How many times have we withheld forgiveness, not remembering the forgiveness God has so graciously extended to us time after time?
Reflection/Action
Read this parable. Reflect on a time that you have repented and asked for God’s forgiveness.
The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 “If we confess, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
Now, think of a time that you chose not to extend forgiveness to someone who asked or maybe they didn’t even ask for it, yet they still needed forgiveness.
Ask God to help you to forgive the person (or persons) that you have withheld forgiveness from.
Thursday:
Where do you find yourself today? Stuck in unforgiveness? Hopeful that you are on the right track and seeking God? Starting to experience the true freedom of forgiving?
Let’s not forget that God commands us, in His Word, to forgive.
Colossians 3:12-13 (NIV) “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13) Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you have a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” God simply wants the best for you. He can be trusted.
Reflection/Action
Take some time to look up and meditate on these verses. Then ask God to help you live out His Word. Ask God to speak through each verse and how exactly this looks for your situation.
Colossians 3:12-13
Matthew 6:14-15
Ephesians 4:32
Luke 6:37
Friday:
We were encouraged to talk to a trusted friend if we are finding it hard to forgive. Sometimes it helps to get out of our own head and talk it out. Sometimes a person may ask for our forgiveness and sometimes they never will. Sometimes they will truly appreciate the forgiveness and sometimes they never will. Regardless, don’t allow pride to sneak in and talk you out of forgiving.
Romans 5:6-8 (NIV) “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7) Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8)But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9)Since we have been justified by His blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through Him!
Reflection/Action
Read through and meditate on Romans 5:6-8. What does this verse mean to you? How does this verse convict you? Does this verse speak to you and is it moving you to action?
Saturday:
Forgiveness is a big deal. It is important. Unforgiveness can bind us up and hold us back. Forgiveness can set us free. If you are still sitting on the fence let’s look at one more important point from the sermon on Sunday and it’s this, God elevates forgiveness above other important things. We read in Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV) “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24)leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them, then come and offer your gift.” You will find that in walking in forgiveness that to BLESS others flows more easily from your life.
Reflection/Action
Read and meditate on the above verse and also on Mark 11:25. Ask God to help you be courageous and extend forgiveness. This may be something you need to go to the other person and do or it may be something that is just between you and God. And just as Pastor Adam encouraged us at the beginning of the series to Begin with prayer and write down at least three people to pray for, Stephen encouraged us to write down the name of that person (persons) that we know we need to forgive. Start there. Bring it to God. Ask Him to help you. We should not want to hold onto unforgiveness more than we want to hold onto God and obey His Word.
A note of encouragement:
And just a little extra encouragement to carry forward, sometimes after we have forgiven, we find ourselves entertaining the offense again. Simply give it back to God and say out loud, Lord, I have forgiven_______. I lay this at Your feet again. Please help me not to pick unforgiveness up again.