The pain of life is real. No one escapes hurts, pain and suffering. John 16:33 tells us, "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble." A diagnosis, a betrayal, an unmet dream or goal, the loss of a loved one. The list could go on. What do you do with pain and frustration and tears?
Did you know that more than 50% of all the Psalms deal with pain, sorrow, tears and suffering? They are often called "The Psalms of lament." These Psalms give us permission to express our feelings - even our negative ones. Tim Keller said, "These Psalms give us 'the Gospel a third way' - with our feelings." He goes on to say "In this life most of us fall into two categories - either we fall into the category of denying when things are really hard - I'm good, doing fine - or we end up on the opposite end of the spectrum where we nurse our feelings - where our feelings define our reality and become the lens we see life through." Pastor Adam also used this Keller quote: "to ignore our feelings or to over-indulge our feelings is not only potentially dangerous but it is also not productive. It doesn't move us froward in any way. Rather there is a gospel third way - the option of bringing our feelings, tears, pain to God and processing them there."
INVITATION: How are YOU with lament? Which category do you most often fall into: denial or nursing the hard feelings? What about with your faith family? Do you feel like you must stamp a smile on everything and pretend or can you be open, honest and vulnerable? Have you ever felt like something was "wrong" with you if you felt doubt or frustration with God and your circumstances?
MONDAY: Psalm 77:1-2: This Psalm is written by Asaph who was a Levite and assisted the Priest in the service of song. Basically, he was a worship leader. He begins this song by stating he "cried out to God" when in distress. Where do you first turn when in pain or anguish? Do you shut down? Do you go everywhere but to God? What about social media? Do you turn to finding false solace there.....getting people to "like" or "heart" your post? This Psalm (and others) show us God desires to be our first refuge, but it is good to have wise counsel, Spiritual Directors, counselors, etc. in our life. Is that in place within your life?
TUESDAY: Psalm 77:3-10: This section of scripture is asking hard questions, and perhaps even fussing at God. Did you know that occurs in Scripture? Have you ever prayed and cried out to God in a place of more doubts and questions than anything else? God welcomes that! It happens to everyone on the faith journey and He is close and tender. What about you? Do you feel shame and try to "hide" in some way when you have doubts?
WEDNESDAY: Psalm 34:18: Phillip Yancy wrote the following in his book, Prayer: "We should pray like a salesman with his foot wedged in the door, like a wrestler who has his opponent in a headlock and will not let go." Have you ever "wrestled" with God? How do you feel about that concept? According to this verse, God draws close to his people when they are doing just that. As you think about circumstances in your life right now, is there anything you wish to "wrestle" with God about?
THURSDAY: Psalm 77:11-20: These verses model how choosing to remember what God has done--his power and his strength--is important. This is a theme throughout scripture: "Remember God's faithfulness." In these verses, Asaph is even remembering from generations past. There is actually a term for this in the psychological world: Reminiscence therapy. Pastor Adam took some time in the service to pause and ask us to think of a few ways God has been faithful in our lives. What might it look like in your life to make this a spiritual discipline or practice? Perhaps at the end of each day, or week? There is actually an ancient term for this and it's called "the prayer of Examen." It is a prayer which encourages us to look back - and keep short accounts - on God's love, strength and presence. Ten Minutes With God wrote about it some years back. Click HERE if you are interested in learning more about this type of prayer.
FRIDAY: Psalm 13:5-6: Most Psalms of Lament end with praise for who God is. How can you pray in that way today? What characteristics of God can you pray about and be grateful for today?
SATURDAY: Psalm 28:6-7: When we pray while in our pain, the model in the Psalms is to reaffirm and even speak out loud God’s goodness. It is a discipline that will give us perspective and hope - even when you are currently sitting in your pain. Is this a model you might want to try today or this week?
The Psalms of Lament, and Asaph in Psalm 77, model this pattern in prayer:
Cry out to God
Wrestle with God
Remember God's faithfulness
Declare God's goodness
How might you use this pattern in your prayer life?